Ich War Noch Niemals in New York

by Ziyuan "Nora" Ma

(photos by author)

I am a person who likes music very much. In high school, I formed a band with my friends. In the first two years, our creation and performance were very smooth. There were some performances on campus and even in Beijing. Our band has played many songs together, but my favorite is a German song called "ICH War Noch Niemals in New York" (listen). Our band's activities were very smooth in the first two years of high school, and we also won some awards. But in the third year of high school, something unexpected happened. Covid suddenly started. We were forced to study at home and had no chance to rehearse and perform at school together. When I sat at home alone, watching the videos of rehearsal in the past and listening to many songs we cooperated with, I began to miss the rehearsal time together in the band.

One day, the weather was very gloomy. The city was covered with pouring rain, and there was no sunshine. I've been taking online classes at home for more than two months and haven't socialized as before. This makes me feel very uncomfortable and lonely. I turned on my computer and began to play music because music has always been an excellent medicine to alleviate my loneliness. Suddenly I heard a familiar melody from "ICH War Noch Niemals in New York". This classic German song surrounds my ears. What moves me most is the music section 0:55-1:24. This song is the chorus of the whole song and has been repeated many times in this song. Listening to the songs slowly uttered in deep and melodious German, my eyes slowly moistened. Through this passage, I saw a middle-aged man struggling between ideal and reality. He is ordinary, mediocre but not vulgar, living in darkness and humidity, but still has a sunny dream, and still yearns for California's gold coast. And when he stood at the starting point, he gave up. Because a man not only has dreams but also has responsibilities and a family. So he silently retreated into the darkness as if nothing had happened.

This reminds me of my own experience. Although I am still young, because of the coming of the pandemic, I have no chance to sit with my friends and have a love creation and collision of ideas (this is a cruel fact) because I am also about to come to the United States to go to college, and my friends have stayed in China. We have a shared dream. We want to make the band better and better and write some songs that can be sung. But forced by reality, we are separated and can only wander alone in the music world and the real world. But is this not an opportunity? In the coming days, I can see the scenery I haven't seen before, learn different knowledge and learn more music knowledge in countries far away from my hometown. Through these, if I want to continue my music creation in the future, I will undoubtedly have unique music inspiration. And our band will become better because of cultural diversity and different levels of knowledge.

The lyrics of this paragraph say, "I should not have been to New York, I have never been to Hawaii, and I have never been to San Francisco in ragged jeans. I have never really been free, crazy and beyond all limitations." there are agreements and helplessness in these clips. Still, in these lyrics, I also see his responsibility and a man's blood. My dream and life have just begun. I have some regrets, but I believe there will always be some opportunities to complete my goal in the future.

Time flies quickly, three weeks have passed since university time, and the Mid-Autumn Festival is coming unknowingly. That night, when I looked at the sky, the sky was full of stars gleaming faintly, and a full moon was shining in the sky. The Mid-Autumn Festival in China is a festival that symbolizes reunion because everyone hopes that the family is as happy and happy as the full moon in the sky today. Sitting on the lawn, I began to miss my father and mother, the familiar city where I used to live, and my old friends. Putting on the headphones to replay this favorite song, the musical music eased the sadness in my heart. It is precisely because many things have not been completed, and there are still many futures waiting for me to participate. I cannot give up so many beautiful possibilities because of the sadness in front of me. Fortunately, I don't have to face the pressure of life alone, so I don't need to give up the opportunity to pursue my dreams because of the stress.

Music is the best part of my life and the sustenance of my complicated feelings. Maybe in this life, we will have many different experiences, the burden of reality will be on our shoulders, and the pressure of life may make us out of breath. But the time when we once completed our common dream together in the band is always good medicine. That beautiful time will remind us on a lonely and challenging night that we will always be shining teenagers with dreams and courage to explore this beautiful world.